Playing Pretend

Ok haha how long has it been?

Two or three years now, I say with a grin

I’m just playing pretend

With this stream of consciousness

Thinking nothing out first

There’s no con-se-quen-ces

Because I set the distance in an instant

How naïve I was to think

That hard work and persistence

Was enough to make you take

A second to listen to what

I’ve written on a page

I should just take a break

And accept that I’ll be sittin’

With a kitten in my lap

Disappointed in old age

The shame the loneliness

And the lack of funds too

They sure don’t make it easy

Who’s "they"? We know who

As I sip this cold coffee

And consume this poison food

Inhale the chem-trail

Just your run of the mill everyday fool

What will this week’s paycheck bring?

Can I afford to buy some books?

Of course I can get ‘em

Just become more indebted

Depressed is how the future looks

But for today let’s live it up

I’m not willing to give this up

You thought you could break me

For God’s sakes these

Motherf--kers are truly mistaken

I’m a glutton for punishment

You see, It’s never enough

Do you get it or what?

Should I explain it again?

I understand that all these things

I try to say with my pen

Might never see the light of day

Because they’re guarding the gates

Of success with their greed

This is just a pressure relief valve for my brain

Like I already said

   I’m just playing pretend

               At the end of the day